We’re both stuck
I’m stuck
Somewhere between waiting for your call and initiating a text
Somewhere between showing up at your doorstep and waiting for the day you step on mine
I’m stuck
Wanting to protect you but knowing I shouldn’t
Arguments would follow good times, we’d wait to get understanding but wouldn’t
We’ve seen how this plays out and have been apart of too many bad remakes
The worse thing I can do is repeat the same mistake
Reliving the same heartbreak that only ends in two people feeling misunderstood and space
I tried listening but it never yielded a return
I tried being the fire in us but only felt burned
All I ever wanted was effort
all I ever got was love with texture
It went from comforting and smooth to rough and misused
Fine grains turned to wrinkles.
You said one thing but did another and I got tired of being confused
I found myself yearning for honesty craving any form of clarity
Instead me wanting something from you turned your small attentions to charity
You were doing less and expecting me to grateful for it
I was putting myself in your shoes and expecting you to be Thankful for it
There were no words left
Only repeated questions & unsettled emotions
I got tired of reassuring you
Tired of trying to solve whatever holes you have open
Every problem you had was something wrong I was doing
Every hole you had was something I wasn’t giving
Every area of lack was an area I was missing
We felt like a burden
I felt like a missing person
You never noticed the flyers I posted
Your attention was so inverted
If I took the time to ask you Had you seen me
You’d only complain, never search
Nothing was ever easy
Everything was an obstacle course built with forts and a guard that was friendly but always paced
And kept asking you for a pass that expired everyday
His smile was pleasant yet empty
His joy a husk of a crustacean
He would ridicule you if you quit the game in frustration
Give you a pep-talk that sounded more like a list of your wrong-doings
No game is ever fun if you keep losing
It was like you were playing a game you wanted me to save you from
You wanted me to give this game my all
And yet still save you some
At the end I had enough of you
I got tired of being stuck with you.
#Stuck
