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ventriloquist

J Series: Conclusion

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J Series: Conclusion

It wasn't hard to write the J Series at all. Every post came from a sincere place and emotion. For instance, many people loved my April Hughes story, yet I spent more time finding the correct image to match the story than actually writing it. There was nothing for me to make up. I literally just wrote down my experience. Rome played on my imaginative elements of myself and J, and how amazing I thought we would be together.  The Black Dress post actually started out as a dream. I wrote the dream down, and promised to come back to it for minor touch ups, but I spent so much time writing 10,000 I Love You's that I forgot the dream. But I remembered the emotion of what I felt for this woman. In that emotion I was able to create Black Dress. I imagined J in a black dress and painted the story from there. Invincible was the only piece that I had an actual hard time writing because of the topic being discussed. I poured my heart out into this until there was nothing left.

 What surprised me the most from this collection of work was the reaction that I got. The positive feedback has been overwhelming. People told me that they loved my work. I was advised to make some pieces into plays. I was told that people wanted to buy hard copies. Most importantly, I was told again and again and again, that it inspired people to write. J was such a significant woman to me because she responded to a much older piece of mine in a poetic form. She told me that I inspired her to write and not only did she do a great job, but what she wrote made me want to write to her and only her forever. The surge of words that I normally felt in my head ran 10 times faster than usual and everything that I touched or saw became ordained in positive feelings. That doesn't just happen. In a sense the J Series was my attempt to have that back into my life. And if for whatever grand scheme she is not meant to be back in my life then at least I can say that other people were affected. People who didn't enjoy reading, would tell me how they loved reading my pieces. Women who had been abused told me how much April Hughes meant to them. The artists in manifesto were able to connect to myself and readers going through similar emotions. Many women reacted to Him Understanding Her, in such a strong sense that I was asked to speak with boyfriends lol. I would have to say that my most heart felt accomplishment was from the Ventriloquist Series in the Poem dedicated to R. I won't even tell you what was said I'll let you read it for yourself at the bottom. The energy placed into this series was flipped 10 fold and I love it. This Series opened opportunities for me and most of all other people. That is what makes it so special. That is how you know this work was genuine. I'm happy to say that I followed through with it.

If J does ever come back into my life maybe I'll resurrect the J Series as a mini series alongside the King Series. But so much has been happening that I can truly see that God has a plan for me. I've been meeting people that write for this company and screen right here and there, while getting requests to write here and there. I was told to never stop writing, so I haven't stopped. And God keeps giving me different and newer venues to write in. Literally, if it's not one thing it's another. I'm writing several times, everyday. I feel like my life is changing. I already know that by the end of this year my life will be in a different place. All I am doing is following what God is telling me and experiencing his glory. Sorry to get too preachy, this all just feels so amazing. It's like one moment I'm looking down at a key board and typing and then the next, I'm looking up at all these people applauding. People have taken time out of their busy days to send me page long messages of how talented of a writer I am. That is surreal to me. In closing, I want to thank everyone for reading, enjoying, and connecting to the J Series. I'll never stop writing. The King Series is up next. 

This is an email that I got from @soul_cypher pertaining to the Ventriloquist posts that we teamed up on.  This make everything worth it. 

king Series. First

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J Series: Ventriloquist R

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J Series: Ventriloquist R

Distance only distills our filtered emotions

You are my core

The order to my corruption

And the focus upon my disruptions

Finish my thoughts like you usually do

Symphonize my soul like you musically do

I refuse to be without my muse

I cannot accept that we aren't worth accepting

It's just so hard to love while forgetting

My past has crippled me enough to wheel my self to your doorstep

I want to rush the first step but my feet haven't hit the floor yet

But in my mind where walking into a jazz club

A fur scarf rests across your shoulders

Where're in the 70's where love and music have taken over

A time before rap existed

Where I could wrap you around my arm

And not be embarrassed by male critics

But that was a dream

Now I only hope to be a man by any means

But your love necessary

What we are is legendary

This is life on a ledge served with dairy

Cause you are the best thing I've ever had

Yet the only thing I've never known

We find each other alone

Afraid that someone like you even exists

Too many times I've searched for soil and found bricks

And I survived by building up a wall

That you've somehow

Climbed over

I find cover

Cause to be honest I'm afraid that we found each other

I'm scared of not being the being that you need to be with

Afraid that these bricks can't be your defense

And I'm afraid that the man I've been isn't the man that you should sleep with

So opposed to letting you share yourself

Ill tell you take care of yourself

Ill help you to prepare yourself

For the idea

That even thought we're perfect it isnt worth it

You deserve so much but I can afford so little

And a woman of your grace should never meet in the middle

My Dilemma

I want you

But don't know what to tell you

Cause I'm afraid to tell you

That our heads have tailed you

And until I can flip it back

I've failed you

 

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This letter J is provided by: ipetk

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J Series: Ventriloquist J

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J Series: Ventriloquist J

What's understood ain't gotta be explained

But since there's a disconnect

Allow me to lay it plain

There's a difference in the way you

Say my name

And the way you touch me

When we are reaching different plains

Something genuine deep seated in my attraction

Which makes me question why you had such a reaction

To my challenge of blunt and raw

Affection and sexual temptation

You came across like you needed no explanation

Free reign for me to go about my business

Until you flipped the script

Like a film director with no direction

What is this?

I spoke my mind

Because you peaked my curiosity

But I gave you the wrong impression

Obviously.....

So before I strike the match

Against this tinder box and all

Let me light the flame again so

You can recall

I purposely stayed far from the subject of sexuality

Because I was so focused on your regality

Yet the reality because somewhat

Of a fallacy

Because you misinterpreted

My Interested dose of honesty

You admired me for my rawness usually.

but you spoke my words back and then started accusing me

what's confusing me is the duality of my feelings

Because I'm kneeling and revealing

Yet you want no parts of yielding your true feelings

Face to face from place to place

We've come and gone

And I'm

Pissed because your voice still

Rings like lyrics from My favorite song

You said two type of men you usually come across

Neither type am I

So my approval is not what I'm

Seeking

I'd much rather

Take delight in the thought

That you are feeling me

Honestly truthfully madly and deeply

Tell me on a rainy day "you're the one for me"

Apologies explanations and confusion aside

I wanna get a text from you that

"fuck the bullshit, I'm

Down to ride"

You can be my Bonnie

I'll be Clyde

Let's rob the world blind every night

Then press rewind.

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This letter J is provided by: meshramjatin

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