J Series: Ventriloquist R

Distance only distills our filtered emotions

You are my core

The order to my corruption

And the focus upon my disruptions

Finish my thoughts like you usually do

Symphonize my soul like you musically do

I refuse to be without my muse

I cannot accept that we aren't worth accepting

It's just so hard to love while forgetting

My past has crippled me enough to wheel my self to your doorstep

I want to rush the first step but my feet haven't hit the floor yet

But in my mind where walking into a jazz club

A fur scarf rests across your shoulders

Where're in the 70's where love and music have taken over

A time before rap existed

Where I could wrap you around my arm

And not be embarrassed by male critics

But that was a dream

Now I only hope to be a man by any means

But your love necessary

What we are is legendary

This is life on a ledge served with dairy

Cause you are the best thing I've ever had

Yet the only thing I've never known

We find each other alone

Afraid that someone like you even exists

Too many times I've searched for soil and found bricks

And I survived by building up a wall

That you've somehow

Climbed over

I find cover

Cause to be honest I'm afraid that we found each other

I'm scared of not being the being that you need to be with

Afraid that these bricks can't be your defense

And I'm afraid that the man I've been isn't the man that you should sleep with

So opposed to letting you share yourself

Ill tell you take care of yourself

Ill help you to prepare yourself

For the idea

That even thought we're perfect it isnt worth it

You deserve so much but I can afford so little

And a woman of your grace should never meet in the middle

My Dilemma

I want you

But don't know what to tell you

Cause I'm afraid to tell you

That our heads have tailed you

And until I can flip it back

I've failed you

This letter J is provided by: ipetk

J Series: Ventriloquist J

What's understood ain't gotta be explained

But since there's a disconnect

Allow me to lay it plain

There's a difference in the way you

Say my name

And the way you touch me

When we are reaching different plains

Something genuine deep seated in my attraction

Which makes me question why you had such a reaction

To my challenge of blunt and raw

Affection and sexual temptation

You came across like you needed no explanation

Free reign for me to go about my business

Until you flipped the script

Like a film director with no direction

What is this?

I spoke my mind

Because you peaked my curiosity

But I gave you the wrong impression

Obviously.....

So before I strike the match

Against this tinder box and all

Let me light the flame again so

You can recall

I purposely stayed far from the subject of sexuality

Because I was so focused on your regality

Yet the reality because somewhat

Of a fallacy

Because you misinterpreted

My Interested dose of honesty

You admired me for my rawness usually.

but you spoke my words back and then started accusing me

what's confusing me is the duality of my feelings

Because I'm kneeling and revealing

Yet you want no parts of yielding your true feelings

Face to face from place to place

We've come and gone

And I'm

Pissed because your voice still

Rings like lyrics from My favorite song

You said two type of men you usually come across

Neither type am I

So my approval is not what I'm

Seeking

I'd much rather

Take delight in the thought

That you are feeling me

Honestly truthfully madly and deeply

Tell me on a rainy day "you're the one for me"

Apologies explanations and confusion aside

I wanna get a text from you that

"fuck the bullshit, I'm

Down to ride"

You can be my Bonnie

I'll be Clyde

Let's rob the world blind every night

Then press rewind.

This letter J is provided by: meshramjatin